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What NOT to do, Pt. 1 - The highs and lows of KuteLuvr — LiveJournal

About What NOT to do, Pt. 1

Previous Entry What NOT to do, Pt. 1 Dec. 22nd, 2006 @ 08:47 am Next Entry
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From:caslayerboi
Date:December 22nd, 2006 08:30 pm (UTC)

*Pops out of lurkerdom* Umm...

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First of all, I just wanted to say that you are absolutely the most adorable thing, next to baby seals. Kraft™ totally needs to put you as the filling in their next dessert cookie. =)

Second of all, as someone who prefer to bottom, a lot of us are in the mindset that: 1) A lot of guys demands that your colon be steam cleaned with a rug doctor or that you starve yourself for three days beforehand, so that there won't be any possibility of shit happening. So, a lot of us are trained that we need to minimize the incident at all costs, otherwise we're not getting laid. Therefore, we may not be aware that you're of the understanding tops, who just wants to merrily pound away. And, 2) I don't know about other guys, but my experiences say that a lot of tops like their bottoms to be OMG!Virgin tight, so they prefer it when the bottoms clamp up to simulate that feeling (Because God forbid that we actually show that we've done this before). And a lot of bottoms, me included, wants to please the tops, so we do as they like.

Anyway, just my two cents. *Pops back into lurkdom*

P.S. Just a scandalous offer- If you want, I'd be willing to be your sex puppet anyway you want, hehe. =P
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From:kuteluvr
Date:December 22nd, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC)

Re: *Pops out of lurkerdom* Umm...

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All wonderful points...

...to your first, I'm certainly wanting you to wipe... and perhaps have some private time in the bathroom would be nice... it's definitely not something I personally look forward to. However, it happens, and if it's a choice between dealing with the reality and getting laid, or living in a fantasy world and not getting laid, I'll take the sex, thanks.

...to the second one, granted, if I hear a whistling noise during sex we probably have a problem... but for the most part I'm not worried about you tightening or loosening or any of that. If you're engaged with me with all the REST of it... kissing... playing... teasing... touching... feeling... then frankly I love the idea of being able to stick it in you at absolute will without worrying about whether your bodys gonna go into EXIT ONLY mode. Flip you over every which direction and fuck your brains out. GREAT TIME.

...but... my rant wasn't really about that... it was about us face to face, me between your legs, and you suddenly squeezing your legs together so that unless I've got a 2' long dick I'm not getting in (and then you'd prob just close your legs together even more anyway). That's the real issue.

(this is all the "proverbial you", of course ;) )
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From:caslayerboi
Date:December 23rd, 2006 04:56 am (UTC)

Re: *Pops out of lurkerdom* Umm...

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*Clears throat* Well. Whew. Damn, after reading that post, I feel like I need a cigarette or something. Just as a suggestion, maybe being THE gay male "romance novel" writer (a la Danielle Steele) would be a very profitable and fun side job for you in the future, because... DAMN! How the hell did you make the above explanatory passages sounds so damn appealing?! Also, I very much appreciate your clarification. I think it wasn't just me who was a tad confused about exactly who was squeezing what in the scenario you described. I think what happens in that situation is that you were perhaps going a bit too deep or too fast into the boy and he experienced a slight colon jab? I seem to recall a similar experience with the well-endowed ex who wanted to play make-believe that his penis was a rocket ship and my colon was the stratosphere layer that blocked his path to his Happy!Space. If you're the type who likes to deep thrust, perhaps having him on his side and you spooning him would be a more beneficial position; in the standard missionary position, the rectum and colon is slightly bent by the position of the body, so when you try to sneak your rod beyond the fold, it could be very uncomfortable for the bottom.

Oh, yeah. Before I forget, what's the best way to schedule a test drive? =P I wouldn't mind being a test subject to figure out all the best positions and tactics for your specific set-up.
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From:kuteluvr
Date:December 23rd, 2006 11:10 pm (UTC)

Re: *Pops out of lurkerdom* Umm...

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haha :) I'd like to think that I'm more gentle than that... but I can get a little over excited, so probably hold some blame for the Happy!Space thought...

We're currently not accepting test-drive requests because of pending possibilities with a future leasee. :)
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