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Fun vs. Happy - The highs and lows of KuteLuvr

About Fun vs. Happy

Previous Entry Fun vs. Happy Oct. 14th, 2007 @ 11:21 am Next Entry
It's funny... you'd think that things that are fun will help make you happy. After all, the more fun your life is, implying that they're enjoyable and positive, the happier you are, right?

I'm learning this isn't the case. There are a lot of things I do that don't actually make me happy, even though they may be fun or contribute to fun. Smoking is fun... drinking is fun... drugs are fun... spending money is fun... being crazy and over the top is fun... eating fantastic, fabulous meals is fun... but all of these things, while fun in the short term, only make me LESS happy in the long term. I love the freedom of doing what I want at the time... but the price it seems to cost is my long-term happiness.

Smoking... drugs... drinking... these are obvious. Fun in the short term, bad in the long term... but it's more significant than one might think. Not being able to breathe... cancelling on friends because of hangovers... legal paranoias... psychological depressions... all make one unhappy. Fabulous meals are wonderful, and spending time with friends is one of the best part... but doing it too much spends lots of money, and the extra 10 lbs I've put on really don't do much to help my self image.

I've always said that things themselves aren't bad... but an overabundance of anything is bad... and "too much of a good thing" is entirely possible. It's just that, when pressed with the momentary decision... it's hard to resist the allure of the thing that's fun because I care more about my happiness.

This is more a thought than a commitment I'm just going to fail... but it's something I want to think more about. In six months, I'd like to be able to say that "Life 3.0" is in full swing... but we'll see what happens. I think I'm happier when my life "is" rather than what I think it should be.

Has anyone else noticed this? Are there things that you do that you realize are fun, even though they make you unhappy?
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From:soundofthemoon
Date:October 14th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
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Welcome to your 30s! I see you're adapting well... :-)

One of the more profound lessons I've learned (and I'm not alone in this) is that real happiness is not dependent on circumstances. Happiness isn't really about having cool stuff or doing fun things. It's more about being content and at peace with yourself. Fundamentally it's about acceptance (which is a totall different creature than tolerating). You can be really happy in any circumstances if you're happy with yourself. Though yeah, that can take some work to achieve.

And to answer your question, there are a lot of fun things that end with me being unhappy. Most of them involve dating.
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From:timenchanter
Date:October 14th, 2007 08:11 pm (UTC)
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"At what cost?" always seems to be the question. The problem is that the answer is rarely immediate (as you've said). I love going to the bar, it's fun, it's diverting, it allows for social interaction that I wouldn't get otherwise. But being late at night, with me working in the morning (and not always having the willpower to leave when I know I should), it has caused some issues in my life. So I've tried to scale back a bit and it seems to be working well. I'm generally more rested, not in trouble at work, feel better about myself overall. You're on the right track. It's about finding the right moderation of the good things.
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From:kuteluvr
Date:October 14th, 2007 09:35 pm (UTC)
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Actually, that's one of the primary reasons I don't go to the bar anymore. I love seeing everyone there, and I love going up to sing and whatnot... but I don't like to pay the price the next day. *sigh*
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From:timenchanter
Date:October 15th, 2007 10:49 am (UTC)
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Yep. It's quarter of 4am and I just got home.
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