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Scared - The highs and lows of KuteLuvr

About Scared

Previous Entry Scared Dec. 7th, 2007 @ 01:15 pm Next Entry
I've been thinking about it for  a really long time... and talking about it for even longer... but it's finally here: I'm moving back up to the city.

I put a deposit down on a place at the Avalon Mission Bay yesterday. Hopefully the credit check comes through without a massive raping. It's been maybe 6 or 7 years since I've lived on my own... before that I lived in a studio in Sunnyvale for 2.5 years, the longest I've ever lived without in-between moves. (if we counted on-again-off-again, Casa del Pecado wins).

It's honestly a little frightening. Maybe even a lot frightening. It's more money than I've ever paid for somewhere, ever.... but I have a lot of plans in place to manage certain expenses (ex., selling the car)... but still... Living here has always provided a certain amount of security. I've never really needed it (paying rent is always priority #1), but somewhere inside I've always known that if I ever got into dire straights, Craig wouldn't throw me out... I'd get a lot of verbal whipping probably, but hey... he does that anyway. There was always this idea that if my world truly came crashing down around me, I'd still manage to be safe.  Even with other roommates, there was always that feeling.

It's amazing to me how comfortable I was living on my own... and yet now I realize how much I've come to rely on the feeling that comes with always having people around... to talk to... to take care of... to keep you in check... to soften the blows of life as they come.

Inside I know I'll be fine... that I can more than stand on my own two feet... but there's something about not having those other 3 pairs of feet that makes everything else feel like quicksand.
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From:cekyr0
Date:December 7th, 2007 10:25 pm (UTC)
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wow, big step. but you're you, so you'll be fine! we'll miss you tho; we never see you as it is, and now we'll never see you again! such is the black hole that is san francisco... :)
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From:kuteluvr
Date:December 7th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC)
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You can totally get me out of SF... just say "waterworld" and I'm there ;)
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From:cekyr0
Date:December 7th, 2007 11:49 pm (UTC)
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lol, ok! :) that was great that summer, wasn't it? :)
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From:salacious_pop
Date:December 7th, 2007 11:11 pm (UTC)
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Didn't you hate living in the city?? I recall when you lived at Chez SoTM, and then also on the corner of gay and gayer.. you were less than amused.

I realize that there is a difference between living in the center of insanity and living in a tucked away part of a commercial area though.

Good luck!
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From:kuteluvr
Date:December 7th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)
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This is really an attempt to resolve all of the issues I had with living in the city the first time. I'll be across the street from caltrain, muni, zipcar, and safeway. Getting on 280S involves nothing more than "turn left". The gym will be literally downstairs. I'll be living in a building that's less than 5 years old, and I'll have no roommates.

You're 100% correct... there were "issues" with my previous SF living attempt... this time I've resolved 90% of the issues that came up before... and in effect, if I don't like it this time, I'll accept that I never will and will become a permanent peninsula boy. :)
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From:jeffercine
Date:December 7th, 2007 11:32 pm (UTC)
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Enjoy! Don't forget us South-Bay-ers!
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From:kuteluvr
Date:December 7th, 2007 11:40 pm (UTC)
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haha... see my response to alex. :)
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From:pach00ey
Date:December 7th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)

patches parables?

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meh.. nah...
jes means those who're more local will have to check in on you more often. ;-)
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From:studlycaps
Date:December 8th, 2007 12:04 am (UTC)
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Well, you'll have at least a few friends within walking distance. :-)

In other words, hi-diddly-ho, neighborino!
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From:planetboy
Date:December 8th, 2007 02:36 am (UTC)

Welcome back :)

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Good to have you up here. Watch out, SF!

2 comments (having done this move myself a year ago):

1) No housemates are better than bad housemates.
2) Good housemates are MUCH, MUCH better than no housemates.

Wish you happiness and good times with the move.
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From:kuteluvr
Date:December 8th, 2007 02:49 am (UTC)

Re: Welcome back :)

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There is a time and place for everything... and the time for me to live alone for a while is now, me thinks.

Your two statements are 100% true... depending on the context. :)

I predict I'll want roommates again someday, if I don't manage to find myself in some new, long-lasting relationship (which wouldn't be so bad either). Too bad I've used my "Get into jail free" card for Casa del Pecado already. :)
From:shawath
Date:December 8th, 2007 03:00 am (UTC)

Re: Welcome back :)

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Who was the bad housemate?
From:shawath
Date:December 8th, 2007 03:00 am (UTC)

Re: Welcome back :)

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Oops.. that was supposed to be a response to Tim's post. Shrug.
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From:planetboy
Date:December 8th, 2007 03:03 am (UTC)

Re: Welcome back :)

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Oh, Jayeez, I dunno :)
From:seelbs
Date:December 9th, 2007 04:33 am (UTC)

Re: Welcome back :)

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Hey--some of us read this space and do not want to run away in tears only to discover that crying with brown eyeshadow leaves brown trails on one's face.
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