...should I have waited for him? He was cute... no question... and he only wanted me to stay another hour... should I have waited?
It's a really hard question... I could have... but the issue is, did I want to? ...no... not really. I had a good time... I passed midnight (my only real goal)... and I stayed, for the first time, at one of Joey's parties.... but did I want to stay just, exclusively, solely, for this boy?
My libido says yes... my ego says no.
If the stars had aligned and I'd stayed and things worked out, great... but if they didn't, should I change what I want to meet the needs of someone else? Some would call this compromise... and I would agree... if it'd been someone I'd been with for a year or more... but this was someone I'd just met... someone that was cute... but still... someone that, if he'd not shown up, wouldn't have mattered to me at all.
It can be boiled down to an issue of "will I regret this?" Simple answer is yes... but only short term. Long term, he'll either not matter, or we'll get in touch some other way. I think a part of me wants him to crave me because of my lack of acquiescing to his requests... to be the guy that's aloof and therefore worth his effort.... but honestly... that's more work that I have time for, really... if he wants it, he can let me know... he knows who we have in common as much as I do...
I'm not saying that someone's not worth waiting an hour for... but I am willing to say, who is that hour for? An hour was a reasonable time to wait... an hour ago. Now, not so much.
I choose, I think, to be me.... whether that gets me laid or not. I would rather be truthful to myself than dishonest to everyone else... and the simple fact is, although I appreciated the party... I wanted to go home. The nice thing about not knowing about what could have been is that I'll never miss what it wasn't. :P
Happy New Year, everyone :)