Apr. 7th, 2004 @ 12:37 pm
A friend of mine that I've had a longstanding crush on is talking about doing a porn shoot. He says he really needs the money. This causes me much angst.
For some reason, the minute I find out someone has or is going to do porn, I suddenly lose a LOT of respect for that person. I think I see porn and the porn industry as preying on the desperation of a bunch of kids that just need the money and don't have the foresight to think 10 or 20 years into the future about how the decision they're making will impact their lives.
At the same time, I have even considered this idea... doing porn... with my "new" body and self confidence. I consider how cool it might be to be the one that gets people off... how gratifying it might be to be recognized on the street or in a bar. But there's a flip side to every coin, and those exact things could turn out to be just as annoying as cool. And what about my own self respect and image? I don't know how those would play out. I know I'm not going to run for president or anything, but I also don't know what my future holds... and I'd hate to do things that I know could create limitations going forward.
And then of course, there's the fact that I'm an (active) porn consumer. How can I look at something that I use so regularly as being so bad? Isn't that just a bit hypocritical? (yes).
I dunno. I didn't tell this person about my opinion on the matter. It's their decision that matters... their rationalizations... their conclusions. It's their life they're dealing with, and it's their right to create their successes or failures, pride and regret. I have my opinions (confusing though they may be) and they have a right to form their own conclusions. The one thing I know for certain is that I don't want to be the one to hear later that they regret NOT doing something because the experience would have been enriching to their lives.
ClarificationIt appears that some are thinking I'm talking about ME doing porn... for the record, I'm not. :P
|Date:||April 7th, 2004 01:04 pm (UTC)|| |
everyone has to deal with their own personal demons in their own way. my best friend has done porn, enjoyed it and is looking to do it again. i respect him no less than if he hadn't. the cool thing about being an adult, is being able to make our own choices and then being able to deal with the consequences. i'm sure you'll make the right decision for yourself.
I dunno... I've toyed with the idea off and on. The decision I've come to is that, right now at this moment, it's not in my best interests to pursue such an endeavor.
I don't need to have my nude image plastered all over the internet and having a potential boyfriend or worse yet, my kids (later down the line if that option ever manifests itself) see me spread eagled jerking off doing [insert random act here].
yeah, but some of us need to see that!
Not everyone has the same experience doing porn. Most guys I know who've done porn have not had a good time of it. It's hard work, you don't get paid a hell of a lot, it's usually demeaning, and they end up with big self-esteem issues, not to mention getting fucked up on drugs and stuff. And sex becomes work, which takes much of the fun out of it. The porn boys I've played with are usually really boring in bed, no matter how hot they are on video.
But some guys seem to do ok with it. Usually it's the ones who don't take the next step into prostitution. I have a couple friends who have done vids recently and don't seem to have suffered for it. And an old friend of mine did an arty porn for a safe sex video contest about 12 years ago that I don't think has negatively affected his carreer or anything. But then, it was a really hot video =)
i've thought of the idea also.. doing a porno with my bf... but i dont really want that plastered all over the internet... tell your friend how you feel...
|Date:||April 7th, 2004 02:47 pm (UTC)|| |
a perspective from someone who's done it already, and will do so again (i've got a friend trying to start a site): i believe that, as long as you're comfortable with the people you're working with ('cast' and crew), that you don't demean or compromise yourself, and that the sex is safe, there's no problem. Having taken into account what the future may or may not hold, i made the decision anyway. if people want to judge me, that's their problem, if it limits what i get to do, THEN it's my problem, but i'd rather say i did it and had a good time than 'what if?'. i also believe it depends on delivery. if it's something you hide, people will assume you're ashamed and act accordingly, hellfire and damnation all the way. if you flaunt it, people will think you're just trying to get attention, and ALLLL that that can imply. i've dealt with my sexuality the same way. i've never hidden it, and i sure as hell dont go running around with the flag tattooed on my forehead. if it comes up, it comes up, if it doesnt, it doesnt, and therefore ive never had to deal with the negative aspects, about being gay or having done porn. as long as you're comfortable with yourself, no one can touch you.
[steps down off soapbox]
|Date:||April 7th, 2004 03:52 pm (UTC)|| |
this is the best friend i was referring to. listen well and take heed.
I listen to all... who I decide to heed is my fortune, my folly, and my decision. :)
|Date:||April 7th, 2004 04:19 pm (UTC)|| |
of course the decision is yours to make silly. taking heed is just paying attention and taking information into consideration. it's all good. like i said before, i know you'll make the decision that is right for you. *hugs*
I do know other people that have done it... I generally make a point of not making a point of it. I guess my feeling is based on the idea I've never heard anyone look back after a period of time and thinking "I'm proud I did that.".
Watch the The Banger Sisters
... it's a prime example of this kind of thing... well... until the ending :)
|Date:||April 7th, 2004 04:35 pm (UTC)|| |
i love the banger sisters, good flick. proud...? well, maybe not, but i don't regret it, i don't feel bad about it, and i'm not ashamed. i guess i wouldn't be proud unless i gained fame from it, cuz then i'll have worked for it, and have something to show for it. if i managed to gain fame and not gut sucked into all the bad shit, i could be proud of that. maybe we'll see...
By the way... where can I buy the video? ;)
|Date:||April 8th, 2004 01:30 pm (UTC)|| |
lol, ill tell you when the new ones come out, if my buddy's site gets off the ground. i was frightfully skinny in the old one...
|Date:||April 8th, 2004 01:31 pm (UTC)|| |
but if you really wanna see, talk to timenchanter
. he downloaded the pix and vids awhile back.
speaking of porn... when do we get another retaliation porn update from you? LOL