I missed my workout yesterday. I was supposed to meet lorenzosf at the gym, but there was confusion about the time arrangement, so in the end when I called him he was already there (surprised that I wasn't) and I just gave up for the moment. Nobody's fault kinda thing. I'm honestly finding myself seeking someone that is knowledgeable to help me move forward in my gymbunnyness... a partner that knows something and doesn't mind playing big brother to me a bit... and maybe in classic partner style provide some encouragement on those days you just don't feel like it or are letting yourself cop-out. We'll see what happens... but consider this a casting call for anyone in the Castro! :) (lorenzosf would unquestionably be ideal... and I so enjoyed our last workout... but I don't wanna put that kinda pressure on anyone that's not asking for it directly :P)
I'm having angst about the new boy. I really like him a lot... I don't think I could hand-pick a more ideal person to date. He meets or exceeds all major requirements...
- The Rules
- Must be of age
- Must have a job
- Must not live with parents
- Must have a car
- Must be out
and yet I can't seem to find the ability(desire?) to turn off the cheaper (playful? promiscuous? uninhibited? slutty?) side of myself. He's completely worth it... I'm just not sure if I'm in that space. I'm going to have to find a way to reconcile these pieces of myself that I've always considered mutually exclusive, or just accept that the timing sucks... and I don't want to hurt anyone.
I'm becomming a complete slacker at work. I think having a constant desire to go out and do something in the city is the main problem. It was usually that I didn't have a constant world of excitement to go home to... home was gorgeous, but relaxed and uneventful. Now, home is gorgeous, and exciting and ever-available. I'm hoping this desire for engagement of the city wanes with time... everyone's told me it will. We'll see.
I miss the KoC crowd. I was happy to be working my way into a group of people that was unpretentious (I was arguably the most pretentious person there, I'd bet) and fun and outgoing. I loved having a reason to see spawrhawk & unbreak_able, some I constantly long to spend time with but find that distance and life's distractions prevent from happening.
Back to forcing myself to work.