Yesterday was "Christmas" with my family... moved forward due to my desire to spend christmas doing things that I would prefer my family not know about. :P So, I get on the freeway at 2:00pm and find myself stuck in the WORST traffic I've seen since the Nixon administration! (no relevance, but it seemed funny :P) Seriously... the people in the left lane were doing 6mph with these HUGE gaps in front of them. I cherish my car... but I've rarely felt a sense of road rage that intense... I was starting to actually scare myself.
Anyway.. after making my hour-long drive (that actually took me 3.5 hours), I was completely fed up with being anywhere that included or implied future freeway efforts.... as such, being at my parent's house knowing that I'd need to drive back home was not a happy experience. My mood was TERRBLE. It was basically "here are your fucking presents, I'm going home." I felt bad for my attitude, but didn't really know what I could do to change it... well... prob could have changed it with careful management, but I think I was happy being mad anyway :P
So, the unfortunate truth is that none of the kids in the family like our stepfather really at all. He's an okay guy maybe 50% of the time... but he's a complete psycho the other 50%... and the intensity of the psychotic episodes more than overshadows the mediocre "okay guy". These things have ripped our family to shreds... but that's all another show. anyway, so I didn't get him anything, and didn't really feel bad about it (yes, he's bought me things before, but I've always gotten the impression that it was to buy back my respect for him... which unfortunately, I don't respect.). Honestly, I didn't really get anyone's "significant others" any gifts, so he's not alone in my world. So, I tell my mother this, and she immediately runs around the house picking up gifts and relabeling them, telling me to say "to xxxxx from Chris". Oi. I understand the not wanting someone to feel left out... but that's my decision to make, isn't it? Anyway, I left pretty quick... not really because of all of that (though it helped), but because I had made prior plans with my kid sister that were scheduled around dinner, and due to previously stated traffic BS was already running late for that.
Dinner, honestly, was fun. :) The more torn apart our family gets (this is a big theme for me around the holidays) the more I appreciate my sisters. We're all kind of rallied around this frustrating truth of our lives. Anyhow, dinner was with her, her BF, and her BF's mom... all fairly cool people. We had italian (how VERY christmas-festive of us) and exchanged gifts (melissa and I only)... it was all very simple, no drama, and no issues. Perfect. :) (consider my lack of negative comments to be representative of a positive experience ;)
Left then fairly fast to get home cuz I was tired of NOT being at home (and as my other sister puts it, "being back there just makes me feel immediately BAD... like it's bad karma or bad memories or something... but it's horrible... I hate going there"[para due to memory].
*sigh* My family issues are honestly painful. I wished a long time ago that I could have just one holiday with my family all together again... where we wake up and open presents and have breakfast together and talk and laugh and enjoy being around each other... but I don't know if that will ever happen.