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Six Months and counting... - The highs and lows of KuteLuvr

About Six Months and counting...

Previous Entry Six Months and counting... Oct. 17th, 2004 @ 01:58 pm Next Entry
Well, Austin and I have officially been together for six whole months. Six fucking months. Geeze... time's flying.

I wanted to do something special with him.... but considering our lives in general (Bouchon, Angel, Bistro Jeanty), it's hard to find anything that actually qualifies as atypically special. He'd told me he's never had whole crab (how the hell can a boy live in San Francisco the first 19 years of his life and never had fresh crab?!), so I knew just the place for dinner: Crustacean

As always, we had a great time... reservations at 7:15... a great bottle of wine... and just an incredible time being with each other. Crustacean is really an incredible place to go if you like seafood and "Euro-Asian Cuisine". (I strongly, strongly recommend the Roast Crab... it's kinda what they're known for... a whole dungeness crab literally cooked in butter and herbs... in-fucking-credible). The best part was watching him so cutely try to figure out how to eat a whole crab... how to use the tools... how to crack the shell... there was an incredible "Pretty Woman" moment where one of the legs he was trying to pry open went flying off the table... we both laughed our asses off... "It happens all the time" ;)

Then, needing something to put us over the top a little, I got tickets to see Jamie Kennedy of "The Jamie Kennedy Project" and Scream 1/2/3 fame. His opening acts were a little lame... but he was great fun. I honestly had no idea if it would be any good... I don't know Jamie Kennedy from Tom Jones... but Austin saw who it was and got really excited... he knew exactly who the guy was, so the goodness flowed. Apparently The Jamie Kennedy project is kinda like candid camera... and Austin's into that kinda stuff... so I guess it makes sense.... I'm glad it made him happy. :)

Disclaimer: single bad moment doesn't discount an otherwise incredible evening

Austin knows I dislike him drunk. All of the negative aspects of his personality come straight to the front, and I have a hard time dealing with that. So he had a lot to drink, which I totally encouraged... it'd been a while since he'd been full-on drunk with me around, and it was a moment to just cut loose and celebrate, so hell... why not? We were at the comedy club... there was a 2 drink minimum... let the good times roll! A large part of me was hoping that what did happen wouldn't happen.

We left, and he did this rather obnoxious move of walking out into the street when he has the red... now this IS the city, and people do it all the time... but it was the blatent disregard for his own safety and for the people that he was affecting... it just threw me the wrong way. It essentially was Drunk Austin moving forward with a completely disregard for anyone and anything that wasn't what he wanted at that exact moment. "Cabbie crusing across the street and has the right of way? SCREW'EM, I wanna walk across the street!" (yes, this bugs me), after which he turned up the wrong street to head to the car. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back and said in what I totally admit was a strong, overbearing parental tone that he was drunk, he wasn't managing it well, he was walking into traffic, and the car isn't that way.

Of course he got pissed off... I guess I can't blame him. When we got to the car, Drunk Austin gave me the speech he's known for... telling me how I'm his partner, not his parent, and that he doesn't deserve to be talked to in that tone, and what should have been done differently. Maybe he's right. I didn't say anything about it after that... just let him have his say. Hugged and acknowledged the I still love yous... and went to sleep. It wasn't the most pretty way to end an otherwise great night... but oh well.

Then today he apologized for his yelling at me about grabbing him... saying he had a great time and he didn't want the last moments to ruin it. That was very sweet of him, really... but I still hadn't had my say... gotten my feelings off of my chest about the situation (remember that I just kept my mouth shut while he was venting last night). I finally just let it go (in the most passionate yet non-argumentative tone I could find), saying that I really don't like him when he's drunk.... how he's a completely different person... very jekyl-and-hyde... about how the social norms that enable society to run are just completely disregarded when he's drunk, and he's the only one that matters... and about how it makes me wonder if that's the "real" him... the one that comes out when he's drunk and all of his inhibitions are eliminated... if that's the Raw Austin... and that if that was the case, then that makes me call a lot of things into question... because as much as I love him daily, I can't stand that person, or the completely selfish, arrogant, obnoxious, self-righteous person that it is.

He didn't really have anything to say after that... I don't blame him... he got some blunt perspective from me. I apologized for being so harsh... but I told him I wasn't sorry that I wanted to be honest with him about how I feel about it (He'd heard the same speech before... but perhaps not so directly), and I'm not sorry I tried to tame (control?) him on the way to the car.

Overall, it was an incredible night, good fun, and happy boys... though if one of us doesn't get rich, we're going to have some serious issues going forward :P
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From:gnumoose
Date:October 20th, 2004 03:42 am (UTC)
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Hi. sounds like a great evening even though it had a few problems.

I know who Jamie Kennedy is. He's actually from the Philadelphia area.

Congratulations on the 6 months!
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