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Previous Entry Resume Cover Letter Dec. 31st, 2004 @ 10:46 am Next Entry
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Date:December 31st, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC)

Owen's red pen.

Something about the second paragraph is bothering me, perhaps it is the suggestion that your resume is somehow deficient. It has a negative conotation. If you have gone above and beyond the call of duty, mention that as an extra bullet in the resume. Then rearrange the letter so you are supporting that bullet, rather thenputting down your resume. "Make everything positive, don't put anything negative, your resume stands alone, it is great, blah blah blah. ;)" You should really push how great you are, above and beyond, in your interview.

The third paragraph is good, although some of the wording is off. "a value" makes no sence. "I find that my technical experience and understanding of people combine to create intuitive skills that surpass the success in my resume." ... is a suggestion.

Second sentence, the word colaboration is a different tence then the rest of the sentance which is in (ing). You probably should get rid of th e"ings". You also use the word "understanding" three times in two sentances, a couple of them need to go. Through helping, should by "By helping", cut "to understand" completely, is incrased to "has increased". Just use "including my own", skip the end of the line.
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