KuteLuvr (kuteluvr) wrote,

3 more days in Houston

Rebecca and I have been hanging out pretty constantly... it's really fun to be with her. I like her. She's my friend. ;) We've gone out to a couple of nice dinners (it's amazing how a dinner that Austin and I would have had can be double what Rebecca and I can have for the same thing... Houston's cheap!), and I've made dinner the last couple of nights to rave reviews. We workout together, watch TV, and work next to each other on the couch on our computers. If she only had a dick, I'd be set and moving to Texas. (personality sponge that I am, I think I can see her influence on my mentality... it's a good thing, but it's getting confusing with all the voices in my head :P)

Anyway... I went into the HP Houston office, previously the Compaq world headquarters. Place is phreakin HUGE! I drove around for a while before I finally stopped and got directions and just got more lost. Found my friends at work, worked from the office (as little as possible)... managed to NOT get lost on my way to the site or back (it's a 40 minute drive on highways, beltways, tollways, service highways, and all other kinds of ways possible). Worked from 'becca's house for the past two days, and am going into the office tomorrow... m boss's boss wants to have lunch. We're getting supposedly some of the best buffalo wings on the planet... so we'll see :)

Austin and I had some actually communications (subsequent to my previous post) via email/text message. I think we're pretty much both in similar places, but there's of course no way to know. We both basically ended our conversations essentially saying that we loved each other, and that he was ready to talk, and that we should, and to basically give him a call when I was ready. It's been 3 days or so since we came to that conclusion... so I think I owe him a phone call... I'll probably do that tomorrow. I still don't know what the outcome is or should be... I know with completely certainty that I love the boy... but I'm again stuck in the "what will be different this time" conundrum. Too many maybes and no certainties. I don't even know if he would even remotely be willing to give it a try... maybe he's over me... maybe he's moved on... maybe he's fucked 100 other boys by now... maybe he's sat at home wallowing in self pity and tears like I did for a week... I have no way of knowing... and truthfully, it's not realy any of my business anymore... I gave up any right to that information when I went with the breakup concept. If we got into it again, would we just be setting ourselves up to get hurt again? no idea. I'm sure we'll talk soon.
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