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NOT MY FUCKING FAULT! - The highs and lows of KuteLuvr

About NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!

Previous Entry NOT MY FUCKING FAULT! Jan. 24th, 2005 @ 12:33 pm Next Entry
Coldsores fucking suck. Yes, this is one of those topics that I'd normally say can fall into the TMI category... I don't think most people enjoy hearing about other people's afflictions, especially if they fall into the socially "gross" category (which this one does for me). But gawd dammit, it's not my fucking fault. I've been getting them since I was at least 5 (translation: as long as I can remember)... so it's not like I can be blamed for it... it's not like it's the result of some sexual promiscuity or irresponsibility. It's arguably less my fault than getting mono might be (which most of us very much shrug off, by the way). It makes me feel ashamed and want to run and hide. I'm very careful with it, and don't ever do anything that will get somebody else infected... but I still feel like a fucking leper.

So, now that I've got a particularly bad bout of it, I went to the doctor and got a script for Valtrex. I've decided that a daily chug of a pill is better than a monthly week of abhorrance... so we're going to see how that works. The stress of the breakup, the stress of travel, the stress of the get-back-together, combined with the irritation from... uhm... "excessive use of my mouth" the day we got back together made this possible... now I want to make it LESS possible. I can't kiss him, I can't blow him, I can't take a bit off of his fork, share his chapstik, drink his soda. It's fucking annoying.

no... nobody did anything to make me feel this way (well, except me). I'm just frustrated and annoyed. It's one of those times when life deals you cards that you just don't deserve. It goes in the "shit happens" category. But it's still shit, and it still fucking stinks. For those that care: For the next week, I will NOT be falling back into a boyhole... I'll just be choosing to actively remove my face from society until I feel a bit more presentable.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
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From:doktah_rebecca
Date:January 24th, 2005 11:29 pm (UTC)

good luck

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Poor Baby. You've had those since you were five years old. I say blame your parents; it works for everything else!! You deserve to break that cycle. Besides, I don't want another trip to Karneval in Germany where I work so hard to translate so you can get laid by little German boys, and then you don't wanna go out because you feel ugly! ***kisses***
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From:kuteluvr
Date:January 25th, 2005 05:28 am (UTC)

Re: good luck

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Yeah, though I have to say that boyfriends have more of an impact than coldsores do... at least historically. I won't cheat on my boyfriends... and I won't do ANYTHING if I have a coldsore... but Germany hasn't been a total wash... there was Tom on Heike's couch... remember Tom? Heike's such a good international faghag... and Frank and Nils... mmmm... yummy... german boys... ;)
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From:doktah_rebecca
Date:January 25th, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC)

Re: good luck

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yeah, Frank and Nils...especially Nils...mmmmmmm
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From:dwo
Date:January 24th, 2005 11:56 pm (UTC)
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we all have our crosses to bear and so often through no fault of our own. my own personal 1 is psoriasis. although not infectious, it can be a major pain and a definite eyesore if not kept in check. at least you now have medication to keep it under control. keep smilin kiddo. *hugs*
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From:studlycaps
Date:January 25th, 2005 02:57 am (UTC)
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My personal vice is sweat... anti-perspirant has almost no effect on me at this point. Try not to focus too hard on your faults... even if you have a cold sore you're still a hottie with a cold sore.
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From:kuteluvr
Date:January 25th, 2005 05:24 am (UTC)
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Awwww :) This is the kind of mentality I need to maintain :)
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From:nevie
Date:January 25th, 2005 04:54 am (UTC)
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As Rebecca says...

Cold sores are usually passed from mother to child at birth.

I don't know how contagious they are as adults, however. Seems to me, not very. They pop out when stressed or when the lips are mildly damaged.

-nevin

From:chromaticfades
Date:January 26th, 2005 02:16 am (UTC)
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Hello, as acting moderator of the gaycafe you are invited to join this great community!
All you have to do is click on the picture below to join, or if you want to view the community first click on the link above..





I personally hope to see you there,
Sincerely,
The moderator - Keith
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