KuteLuvr (kuteluvr) wrote,
KuteLuvr
kuteluvr

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NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!

Coldsores fucking suck. Yes, this is one of those topics that I'd normally say can fall into the TMI category... I don't think most people enjoy hearing about other people's afflictions, especially if they fall into the socially "gross" category (which this one does for me). But gawd dammit, it's not my fucking fault. I've been getting them since I was at least 5 (translation: as long as I can remember)... so it's not like I can be blamed for it... it's not like it's the result of some sexual promiscuity or irresponsibility. It's arguably less my fault than getting mono might be (which most of us very much shrug off, by the way). It makes me feel ashamed and want to run and hide. I'm very careful with it, and don't ever do anything that will get somebody else infected... but I still feel like a fucking leper.

So, now that I've got a particularly bad bout of it, I went to the doctor and got a script for Valtrex. I've decided that a daily chug of a pill is better than a monthly week of abhorrance... so we're going to see how that works. The stress of the breakup, the stress of travel, the stress of the get-back-together, combined with the irritation from... uhm... "excessive use of my mouth" the day we got back together made this possible... now I want to make it LESS possible. I can't kiss him, I can't blow him, I can't take a bit off of his fork, share his chapstik, drink his soda. It's fucking annoying.

no... nobody did anything to make me feel this way (well, except me). I'm just frustrated and annoyed. It's one of those times when life deals you cards that you just don't deserve. It goes in the "shit happens" category. But it's still shit, and it still fucking stinks. For those that care: For the next week, I will NOT be falling back into a boyhole... I'll just be choosing to actively remove my face from society until I feel a bit more presentable.
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