Feb. 10th, 2005 @ 08:00 am
Ya know... there's a lot of things I'd really like to post on LiveJournal... those things that you really want to say and actually have someone hear you say it... but not anyone you know. I'd say things about friends, roommates, boyfriends, enemies... things that are politically incorrect, whorish, gross...things about my job, my life, and the workings of the world.
But I can't. Too many people actually read this pathetic little spoof of an online diary. There'd be backlash, and lots of it. Alienation, indignation, resentment, anger, annoyance, judgement.... all enemies of outright honesty. Even those rants that are just venting, that in truth you don't really mean and you honestly hope will never happen (but sure feel damn good to get out of your mind) aren't acceptable... the fact that they're just the momentary antics of a volcano vent blowing off steam somehow doesn't translate well to the online medium.
I've even thought about creating some friends-groups of people I specifically DON'T know... the "no one that actually cares" group... the "can't piss these people off" group... the "what these people think doesn't matter to me" group... but there's way too much possibility for reposting, email sharing, or for the connections to otherwise be made. It's a small fuckin world out there, folks... make no mistake... your social circle REALLY DOES reach that person you've never met... somehow.
I'd told myself when I started this that I'd be honest in it... no holds barred. Yeah... right. I may occasionally miss the social niceties that people expect... but I'm smart enough to know that THAT one isn't true. No... fact is, you can't be honest in LJ. It just doesn't work.
that's why there's a "private" filter option. *smirks*
Yes... but that doesn't satisfy the "and actually have someone hear you say" part of it. Somehow posting privately (and I do have a few, but not many) seems like trying to tickle yourself... it just doesn't have the effect you're going for.
You know, you *can* make seperate filters within your /friends and make posts that can only be seen by them. That satisfies my itch when I need to share a dark secret and get honest criticism on it. Just because you've approved 50 people doesn't mean you can't share something that's really bothering you with a select, trusted 14 of them.
Also, I'd suggest you stop caring so much about what other people think. Posts who specifically name names and a list of gripes associated with that person almost always turn into gross drama bombs, which is to be expected.. I find the people who make those kind of posts often get what they deserve in the backlash, but it's still their journal and their choice to write about whatever they want.
I've always tried to be very honest in my journal, because IMHO, if you aren't, your lying about your own life to yourself, on a medium meant to document one's life, and .. why bother? Just get rid of it. You can have a private life or you can use your journal as an outlet of well needed catharsis, but never both (99% of the time).
When I bring my journal back, I have lots of horrific posts about the last year and a half of my life already written to be put up, and I don't give a shit what kind of reaction it gets. Yea, you'll be on the filter that sees them too.
Just say what's on your mind, but own the consequences :)
Also, if I can add one last thing.. it's also perfectly fine to decide that No, actually, you really *don't* feel like having to "deal" with any of the things which may result in being "honest" (which is the impression I got from your post).
No one's going to be put off or blame you for that.. why should you? You know who you are and what bothers you.. why backpedal and feel upset over a decision you know is right for you? What looked good on paper didn't work out in practice.. it's silly to be mad over it. People should forget little things and just do what makes them happy.
Agreed... there are many things that can't be said on LJ. For example, there are preoccupations WRT my job that I can't speak about on my blog, and a few things that I can't speak about even with my closest friends.
But it at least can help you to not stress out about the little stuff.
For example, despite all the work stuff that I can't talk about here, I can say that there are some HOT guys that work at this company. Or I can complain that the HVAC vent above my desk would make my cubicle the perfect interrogation chamber during the winter and an optimal meat freezer during the summer. I'm pretty sure those things aren't strictly covered by my NDA.
I said "for example" twice. Make that three times. I should proofread before I hit Post.
|Date:||February 10th, 2005 06:16 pm (UTC)|| |
Gee, I seem to have no problem posting the utmost in silliness without any real consequences...
But then, I and some other big dogs are truly special. :)
|Date:||February 10th, 2005 10:01 pm (UTC)|| |
granted, i don't know you that well, but you've never struck me as the type of person that worried about what others thought. on the other hand, when dealing with personal issues that you might have with another, it's usually best to deal with those on a personal basis.
as for opinions on the world at large and all that rot, go for it.
i've heard more than a few stories of ppl copy/pasting locked entries. sucks... but if I feel it important to vent without the drama, I just leave out names, make things vague enough but still get the point across, and sometimes even write it for posting on a later date so it's far enough away from the actual event.
Anyway, at some point, you have to do what makes you feel better and say fuck it. You can't be responsible for other people's feelings (although I understand the desire to stay out of the drama).
|Date:||February 11th, 2005 10:06 pm (UTC)|| |
Take It From a Friend That's Made the Mistake...
...of letting frustrations that don't have a private outlet spill over into a public venue; it's ugly. You'd regret doing it. I do.
It drove me nuts to have to suffer something privately, where the *privacy* itself was something that negated responsibility. I aired a ton of dirty laundry, because I was hurt and I wanted the source of that hurt to be held accountable for their crap... and, honestly, felt like dishing out some payback as well.
It doesn't do anything except make ya look... well... nuts, vindictive, bitchy, whiney... (pick any). It sure the heck isn't effective for eliciting change or even, in the long-term, making you feel better.
:) keep takin' the high road
|Date:||February 14th, 2005 10:23 pm (UTC)|| |
A rant now and then is a good thing
A rant, now and then, is a positive thing. It beats going home and kicking the cat - and the cat will thank you for it in lieu of the punt off the balcony.
I vent some frustration and it probably is a healthy thing in my case. No drama in my posts, but the release makes me feel better. It's a no-cost method of stress removal that doesn't trash my liver.
And Mousetrap, The Wonder Cat
appreciates it, too.