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Absolute Assholes - The highs and lows of KuteLuvr

About Absolute Assholes

Previous Entry Absolute Assholes Mar. 21st, 2005 @ 10:37 am Next Entry
Some of you out there in LJ readerland are complete assholes. Note that not all of you are... some of you... most even... are wonderful people. I'm not going to point out who's who... if you're curious, you're going to have to figure it out for yourself. But some of you are.

Here's the truth folks... When you read someone's LiveJournal (or any blog for that matter), you're getting a very, very single-sided perspective of things. It's what they think, from their viewpoint, and how they feel about it at a very specific moment in time, with only the points that substantiate their argument. There are probably a lot of opinions that would contradict the blogger's viewpoint. There are probably a lot of things that might redeem someone they're speaking negatively of. There are probably circumstances that they're not even aware of that would render their rant completely baseless and/or prevent them from writing it at all, if they knew. (Ironically, these concepts all hold potentially true for this rant as well... go figure).

That being said, when you see someone that you've read about in someone else's LiveJournal, take it with a grain of salt. The issues the LJer talked about or were frustrated with may very well have passed. Things may be warm, fuzzy, and peachy in everyone's world and you're just not up to speed. Curious? Fine... there are very practical, socially acceptable ways for you to find out what's going on without saying things like "So-n-so said some really bad things about you in their journal" or "I'm surprised you and so-n-so are talking, with the kind of person they made you out to be in their journal."

Maybe it makes you feel like you're in-the-know to demonstrate how informed you are by saying such things. Maybe it makes you feel good about the banality of your own life to stir up trouble in the lives of others. Maybe you're simply socially inept. In any case, it makes it look like you're out to stir up trouble... create drama... be an ASSHOLE. Especially when it's in a very public place.

Asshole.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
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From:salacious_pop
Date:March 21st, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC)

Well..

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.. complete lack of tact re: the other person aside, why would you post anything to an open forum that's available for anyone to see?

You wouldn't post your credit card number on here.. treat it the same way. There are security options within the journal that can be used to say your peace while limiting accessability.

While this isn't your fault, it's a journal second, and an internet community first.

LJ growing pains can suck.
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From:kuteluvr
Date:March 21st, 2005 08:04 pm (UTC)

Re: Well..

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In theory, I agree with you. However... the individual(s) to whom which I'm referring ARE on my friends list, and would therefore have been able to see it. I've chosen to make an attempt to filter/censor my entries as little as possible.

The person that was spoken badly of was aware of the things that were said. It was the attempted stirring up of shit in a very visible and public way that caused issue in this instance... it had already been handled internally. The issues here are that this isn't the first time this/these individual(s) have actively stirred shit up... they appear to have an ongoing propensity for it.

Finally, I totally agree that it's an internet community first. If this person felt like commenting on my journal that would have been fine. It's the fact that they took it to the next level that's really at issue.

I grant that I could have not said anything in my journal, and I grant that person I spoke of originally could have not reacted to the public rudeness... but the third person is really the issue here. How did any of it concern them to the point that they had to make an active dialog about it? How is it that they had to intentionally present information in a specifically offensive way? How is it their job to take a public venting as a conversation that it's their responsibility to have? It really had nothing to do with them. If this is truly an "internet community" then there are social behaviors that allow that community to flourish... and this one that should be acknowledged and eradicated.
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From:huckie
Date:March 21st, 2005 09:13 pm (UTC)

Re: Well..

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Some people are just born without tact, but you must also remember that the key issue with internet communication is that it is impersonal with a false sense of being personal. Communication and language is all about the process of negotiation. In person, there are reactions that can be gauged, follow-up questions that can be asked, clarifications to be made. When reading a journal, you're totally right, you only get one side of the story, but the impression is falsly left that you have the whole story.

That being said, one should have proper ettiqute and at least enough brain cells to realize that they are not the center of the universe. Yes, a brief look of surprise might be expected if you just read some scathing LJ post only to meet the now happy couple walking hand-in-hand on the street...but I would totally agree that it's a faux pas to bring up something old when the situation has obviously changed. This generally aplies to any situation, whether it's LJ or some previous in-person conversation.
From:justanothergeek
Date:March 22nd, 2005 01:57 am (UTC)
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This kind of stuff unfortunately went on long before LiveJournal and blogging. (I know, it's hard to imagine there was such a time!)

People who like to gossip, create drama, and stir up trouble had plenty of places to find stuff out before there were blogs. There's nothing special about blogs as a medium; the problem is people who fill some psychological need by acting in this way.
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From:boaltie2004
Date:April 4th, 2005 06:27 am (UTC)
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indeed!
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