Fucking Salad

Sitting at my desk here at work (a relatively rare occurance these days), having my lunch at my desk... wearing my new Emporio Armani cotton shirt... feeling cute and good... happy... nibbling my salad... cucumber falls off of my fork and SPLAT! Balsamic vinegar all over my brand new shirt.

Fucking salads aren't supposed to fight back when you eat them. Dammit.