Why the fuck does my mother have to do these things?
First time was when she told me that my sister was going to ask me to give her away at her wedding... but she can't think of the right time to tell me... and she wants it to be special... and she wants it to be a surprise... so act surprised...
Second time was when she was telling me about how she hates the bridesmaid dresses my sister picked out. How they're just incredibly ugly... about how she should choose something more like what SHE picked out...
Third time was when she was telling me about how she's inviting her entire family to the wedding... including people my sister doesn't even know or care about... and how frustrating it was that Melissa wasn't making space for them. This one I came back on... "Is this Melissa's wedding or your family reunion?!" She got pretty mad at me with that one.
And now, today she tells me about how my sister and her fiancee are buying a condo together... but oh, act surprised, because she's really excited and wants you to be proud of her.
WTF IS WITH THIS CRAP?! Why can't my mother just LET ME BE SURPRISED?! Why does she have to take over the entire thing?! IT'S NOT HER FUCKING WEDDING! IT'S NOT HER FUCKING SECRET TO TELL!
I'm so fucking pissed off I could have one of those yelling matches that leaves rifts in families for generations.
And no, Mom... I'm not going to fucking pretend I'm surprised. Maybe you should think about your fucking daughter and how she wants to surprise me with something rather than yourself.
How fucking rude.