A good talking to...
Jun. 12th, 2006 @ 09:39 am
I agree with both of these perspectives myself, but it's not exactly that simple. See... I mentioned that I'm not "that much of a slut"... granted... maybe I'm weird, but I'm not the type of person that can just say "lets fuck" and trek someone that I don't even really know directly from the front door to my bedroom. There's gotta be something to get the juices flowing... to make me interested... time for things to percolate. This means that things might start with a movie, or hanging out in the hottub... or something else that allows conversation. (One of my proviles even directly says "conversation is foreplay, if that's not good, nothing else is going to happen").
This implies spending some amount of time in the common areas. Does this change your perspective at all?
|Date:||June 12th, 2006 06:57 pm (UTC)|| |
in my opinion, common areas are for entertaining. you pay your portion of the rent and are entitled to utilize them. on the other hand, if you're getting naked in those common areas....then yeah, i can see a potential problem. but i guess when it comes down to it, when living in such a situation, there are boundaries that have to be respected, but those boundaries need to be set and should have been set from the beginning.
I won't lie... the minor phase of the making out does tend to start in the family room... but quickly moves to my bedroom when it becomes an over-the-top kind of thing. For the most part, I do try to be as respectful of the fact that's other people's house too as I can be.
|Date:||June 13th, 2006 02:54 am (UTC)|| |
well then, my only suggestion would be, when you feel that urge coming on, move to the bedroom more quickly. ;)
This was actually a point the second roommate brought up. He said that the context for the people mattered to him... in that since it's obvious these people are here just for sex, he doesn't know how to address them, or even if he should at all. I told him he should just ignore them and not worry about it, but he said that makes him uncomfortable. I classified that as a "him" issue (and told him so), but I can still sympathize. He said friends are different because he knows that friends are just that... friends... and can be addressed as such.
i suppose a conversation elsewhere (a quiet
bar, for instance) is too far removed from the bedroom? things cool down too quickly sometimes in the ride home ... but at least then you know you're interested, right? perhaps you need to invest in a TV for your room where you can watch the movie of your choice from the comfort and privacy of your own bed. this has the benefit of being out of sight for your roommates and it gives your juices a chance to get flowing again.
There really aren't any bars near the house... and I do generally dislike going to their house (some weird hangup I've built up in recent years about being in an unfamiliar surrounding). Overall, a lot of chit-chat happens, and then there's the context of just "hanging out" together that allows us to be comfortable, and then things happen. Like I said... I have to actually LIKE them in some way... it's casual, but not as casual as one might associate with true "tricking"... and that time just spent hanging out together is actually really nice. :)
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