...should I have waited for him? He was cute... no question... and he only wanted me to stay another hour... should I have waited?
It's a really hard question... I could have... but the issue is, did I want to? ...no... not really. I had a good time... I passed midnight (my only real goal)... and I stayed, for the first time, at one of Joey's parties.... but did I want to stay just, exclusively, solely, for this boy?
My libido says yes... my ego says no.
If the stars had aligned and I'd stayed and things worked out, great... but if they didn't, should I change what I want to meet the needs of someone else? Some would call this compromise... and I would agree... if it'd been someone I'd been with for a year or more... but this was someone I'd just met... someone that was cute... but still... someone that, if he'd not shown up, wouldn't have mattered to me at all.
It can be boiled down to an issue of "will I regret this?" Simple answer is yes... but only short term. Long term, he'll either not matter, or we'll get in touch some other way. I think a part of me wants him to crave me because of my lack of acquiescing to his requests... to be the guy that's aloof and therefore worth his effort.... but honestly... that's more work that I have time for, really... if he wants it, he can let me know... he knows who we have in common as much as I do...
I'm not saying that someone's not worth waiting an hour for... but I am willing to say, who is that hour for? An hour was a reasonable time to wait... an hour ago. Now, not so much.
I choose, I think, to be me.... whether that gets me laid or not. I would rather be truthful to myself than dishonest to everyone else... and the simple fact is, although I appreciated the party... I wanted to go home. The nice thing about not knowing about what could have been is that I'll never miss what it wasn't. :P
Lets face it... we all end up in a lot of pictures... some we like, others we don't... but how should those pictures be managed, and who owns them?
I'm discussing casual, memory-style pictures... not professional photography or contractual ownership. I'm also not necessarily discussing nude pictures, though that's not entirely out of the question.
Not being burdened with a relationship, I occasionally find myself wanting to get laid. As in, have quick, easy, uncomplicated sex, with someone I like at least enough to want to have sex with. Someone that is really just looking for pretty much the same, isn't going to judge me, and isn't going to make it turn into something more.
...and yet, when such an opportunity stares me in the face, I question it. Directly. "What does this person want that makes them willing to give up their ass so freely?"
I mean... I'm okay in bed... but it's not like I'm Good Luck Chuck or have the ability to provide continuous spontaneous orgasms or anything... so I'm left wondering what the other person is getting out of it.
Is "Free Love" really free? ...have I become so much of a cynic that I can't accept exactly what I want without wondering what it's going to cost me later? ...or is looking a gift horse in the mouth a good idea when it's hollow and made of wood?
I was chatting with someone today about how they were "hostile toward religion"... or atheistic, loosely translated. What they (and most people that subscribe to this...perspective...) didn't seem to understand is that they are, in fact, religious... just in a non-traditional way.
How can you be religious when you're against religion? Pretty easily, actually... but we have to be clear about what we define as "religion". From my perspective, I don't define religion as a belief in God or Gods. Rather, I consider it a viewpoint, perspective, or belief that is self reinforcing, self purpetuating, is not founded on demonstratable or provable fact, and is to the immediate discredit of all other beliefs, perspectives, or religions.
Can it be proven, demonstrated, or factually verified? Does it demand that you think, act, or behave in a certain way? Does it believe that all others are wrong? Does it believe that if everyone believed it, the world would be better? Does it encourage you to encourage others to believe as you do? Does it maintain a specific viewpoint around a deity and/or afterlife?
If you answered yes to all of the above questions, contratulations... you have yourself a religion.
...but you don't go to church? Doesn't matter... but if you adamantly believe that church is an absolute waste of time, god isn't there, there is no god, you're all fucknuts... you're still religious.
The truth is that, as much as religion can't be proven, we also cannot prove that it is wrong. We have no means of saying for certainty that there is not a god. A lot of athiests will say that because the religious can't prove that there is a god, they must be wrong... but that isn't enough to justify disbelief... you must actively prove that there is NOT a god for you to be correct... and currently, that's impossible.
The real problem I see is the idea that everyone else is wrong and must be corrected or fixed. As long as this exists, there will always be people trying to do the fixing, and people fighting to NOT be fixed. Every war, fight, or disagreement we've had hasn't really been about the beliefs... it was about this simple fact: one person thought they were so right that they either needed to make others believe them or erradicate those that did not. Athiesm is no different in this perspective than any other religion.
The most important thing we can possibly do is to acknowledge that we ALL have a right to freedom of thought... to believe whatever we want to believe, whether we can prove it or not... and though debate should be allowed, we ultimately have to agree to disagree at times... because to remove someone else's right to make that decision for themselves... and to not have an opinion thrust upon them... is to do the exact same thing to ourselves. If you can force your opinion on someone else, someone else can force it upon you just as much.
The right to believe in something is much more important than the belief itself.